Step back into reality

I've met so many different people over the years, but I stop and wonder and question, although never out loud, why most women I meet are simply in the market to land a man.  I've heard women say that they're only half a person until they find their other half, their soul mate, true love... it's as if life doesn't really begin until they have a ring on their finger or get escorted down the aisle to begin this new life with two people as one.

Don't misunderstand what I'm saying...relationships are great, especially when you get to share your life with someone...sharing your hopes, dreams, fears, goals, and every spark of greatness and disappointment, failure and triumph... but what happened to the independent, strong-willed women?  I know they are out there, it just seems that with every corner I turn, and every new woman I acquaint myself with have such a view of relying on a man. I won't be happy until I have a man by my side. 

If a woman relies solely on a man, she tends to lose herself in the relationship...forgetting self worth and appreciation.  I met a very sweet girl a few years ago who graduated from college with honors and said it was just for a backup plan in case she didn't get married.  And that explanation shocked me because I thought of what a waste an intellectual mind truly is in her case.  It reminds me of the remake of the movie Stepford Wives.  Every single woman who lived in the community was an intellectual woman who did very well for herself and each one was brainwashed into being a gorgeous, happy, peppy housewife who waited on their husbands hand and foot.  It's because of movies like that one that make me stop and think about the fact that society hasn't changed a whole lot over the years.  Obviously men love to be pampered and waited on as the so called king of the castle.

I don't completely comprehend why it is that women have this notion that happiness is only achieved after finding and marrying a man...catching and keeping him always.  There's a tone in their voice(s) that exhibits self doubt in attaining happiness before they meet someone worth sharing it all with. 

The best advice I've ever received is true for everyone, not just for men, not just for women...no one out there wants to wind up with someone who isn't successful or motivated in their own way.  Confidence is the biggest attraction across the board and even having an ounce of self doubt or harboring of a self esteem issue can easily turn away the opposite sex.  However, attracting someone is usually done at the most inopportune time.  If a guy doesn't like me in my sweats with my hair pulled back and no makeup on my face, then he isn't worth my time.  Comfy clothing choices aren't what defines ability or intellect.


Women shouldn't think that their lives are going to stop or fall apart because they are without a man.  If a man cheats, it's his conscience that suffers, it's his worth and value that depreciates.  If he walks away, it's his loss and a mistake he must live with in regret of what he left.  Women beat themselves up over being alone and allow themselves to fall into some kind of depression because they are not accompanied by a man who makes her complete.  We are not in the movie Jerry Maguire where Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger "you complete me".  Life is a lot harsher than that and regardless of how memorable a movie is because it exhibits what we want to see and hear, when the movie is over we must step back into reality.