A Long Haul



It has been a long time since I have written.  I was just going through my older posts, and I can't believe it has been over FIVE months since the last time I wrote... not that I haven't written anything, just that I haven't had the courage to post...to put it all out there.

So, good news always first right?  Everyone always wants the good stuff before they have to hear about all the bad stuff.

I got a promotion at work!  I have been the new Operations Supervisor since the beginning of May.  Woohoo for moving onward and upward!

John and I closed on our house in the beginning of June!  Yep, we bought a house!  No more asking a landlord permission for anything!  We can add another furry addition to our family if we want to!  We can re-paint and change the flooring!  Which FYI, is going to happen because this house is all different shades of blue.  But I guess it could be worse right?  Could be some aweful pink and green colors that would have stopped me from moving into this house as fast as we did.  I would have had a painter come and and splash the whole place white just to get rid of the hideousness.  But blue is something I can live with 'til next year.  In the mean time, unpacking is my goal.  We have so much stuff...

and now that leads me into the bad news...

On March 2nd, my mother passed away.  I can say that the one memory that sticks out the most in my mind when she was in the hospital, is that the last things we said to each other was "I love you".  I have so many things I still want to say and because I can't say them to her now, I am at a loss for words.  I cry a lot... so much sometimes that it takes away all of my energy and I fall asleep. 

Even though I moved out of the house we lived in together for the last 4 years... I inherited all of her things... and unpacking is memory after memory of her... she's all around me.  I suppose that can be a positive process for me...reminiscing in the stories behind everything she owned.  The hard part is that I haven't been able to part with anything.  It is mostly boxed up and in the "box room" which will one day be called the guest bedroom.

Ever since my mother and I had moved in together, I had been taking care of Georgie, her golden retriever.  He's seven years old now, and I know will lose a big part of myself when he dies.  But I'm very happy that he has managed to make a play-mate out of my tabby cat, Knickers.  Knickers is nine years old, and may actually out-live Georgie.  Knickers has been mine since I rescued him in March of 2006.  These two keep me on my toes and I think remind me that it's okay to play rough every once in a while, and not to forget to have fun.

So although this isn't a long post with lots of intricate details...what I'm hoping you understand is that I have had a lot on my plate, and although I had a small LoA... I haven't forgotten to write.  I was avoiding it because I wasn't ready to face the whole truth.  And...maybe I'm still not.  But I have to start somewhere.  It definitely is going to be a long haul...