Maybe There's Something More

Maybe she's just crazy
But I believe she's onto something

Everything she knows is fear
And everything she believes is right here


Everything in life's for sale
And everything of value is retail

Maybe there's something more
 -Travis Lee Band


Every so often I take a look at my life and think, this is it?  What an easy way to get discouraged with my life and the journey I'm traveling through.  It's a reminder of the cliche of whether the glass is half full or half empty.  Either way, it makes me think.  I reminisce with hundreds and hundreds of photographs with a few big gaps in the more recent years, and I can't help but feel that it must've been wasted time.  I can take the easy way out with an excuse but regardless of anything that I can come up with to justify the lack of memory-making, it won't suffice.  I guess this is what people mean when I hear them talk about regret--something I always told myself I would never feel.  Regret is for people who want to punish themselves for their own choices and decisions.  I always say that this is my life and I make conscious choices, whether they turn out to be mistakes or not I will learn something from everything I do and each step in my journey.

Maybe there's something more...

Read between the lines.  I shouldn't over-analyze to the point that I'm driving myself crazy and then recounting all of the should'ves, could'ves, would'ves and the what-ifs because there could be a million different variations.  First, I make a decision and then it turns into a mistake, which I analyze to death and run through every possible scenario in my already over-worked mind and kick myself for the original decision.  And that process could take an over abundance of time which could have been spent doing something more productive... like moving onto the next step rather than festering over this one blip in time.

Maybe there's something more...

My eyes can only see so far down the road before it becomes unclear.  I can't see my future.  It isn't pre-planned and mapped to a tee.  Things happen.  How I deal and change during each transition is part of how I define myself.  It isn't about how someone else defines me... personal integrity and morale are really all that matter.

Maybe there's something more...

I have a dream to chase, a life to lead, a soul to shake.  There is definitely something more to reality than I can see with my eyes.  There is definitely something more to life than I realize right now in this second.  It isn't about waiting for things to happen, but about making my dreams happen for me... and I have so many.