Growing up in a household that was half Greek Orthodox and half Jewish Traditional and Modern was so difficult, although my parents thought they made it easy. I was baptized in a Greek church, and was given a cross by my godparents, however, was never allowed to wear it. My parents told me that they made the decision not to push me one way or another for my religion.
Just as my parents divorced, when I was eight years old, I was invited to a church day camp where we learned about books of the bible. I even went through accepting jesus christ into my heart... but then never told anyone in my family what I had done.
We had always celebrated Christmas by putting up the tree, decorating it, hanging wreaths and stockings, and cooking tasty food all season. We would drive around different neighborhoods and look at all the Christmas lights twinkling and tell each other which ones were our favorites.
In middle school I decided that I wanted to sing with the choir and I went to my individual tryout, just me, the choir mistress Mrs. Walker, and a little keyboard in a soundproof room singing Star Spangled Banner. My favorite part was singing Christmas carols because we went to all of the nursing homes in the area and sang for everyone. There was something about singing religious christmas carols that was uplifting.
Then during junior high and high school, I didn't really have a religious or spiritual outlet. Then in college, I got really active with fellowship and attending church. I really enjoyed belonging to a non-denominational church. I even went to church on Wednesday nights when I studied abroad because I didn't want to lose my spiritual tie while I was so far away from home.
The uncertainty with my beliefs is that I don't simply follow one of the many many Christian religions out there. I believe in karma and fate, freewill and having faith in myself and others close to me. I believe that the Bible is a really amazing compilation of stories that was put together to give each of us morals and values and examples of good and poor decisions and mistakes and of course, how to learn from them.
Growing up as I did without explanation of religion and spiritual faith, and set out to discover everything for myself, I could never pinpoint which way my faith would flow. I've felt closest to God when there was no barrier in between... rain and clouds, whether in my head or in the sky.
Above all else, it's close to my heart that my belief and faith in myself is the drive from faith in God and destiny. I'm still on my spiritual journey... still on my walk with God. It's just taking a longer walk filled with smaller steps.
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