integrity is never a sacrifice

Great opportunity often comes with great sacrifice.  We always hear about great success stories, and positive changes, but we don't always hear the whole story.  I mean, let's face it, how often do we actually believe we hear the whole story?  There's so much suffering and hardship...life isn't as black and white as what some claim it to be.  It isn't just the survival of the fittest, good and bad decisions, right and wrong choices.  We can easily feel regret and remorse, even if it immediately follows the decision made, but the most important part is learning the lesson.

Who would have thought that lessons are still out there to be learned after school is over?  I thought after the thousands of hours I put into school and learning over the years, not to mention the thousands of dollars spent on a college education, that the lessons were over and it was time to exemplify everything I learned all these years.

But, every day we grow and change.  And every day we have a little more knowledge than the one before, and a little stronger.  And although there is a lot of sacrifice involved, one thing never to be included is personal integrity.

and the rain stops

Last night, just as we were wrapping up in the last hour at my store, the rain began--drip, drip became a sprinkle, then the thunder overhead.  before the night was over, the raindrops became more frequent--we couldn't walk in-between them anymore as they caught up with our strides.  I fell asleep last night to the sound of rain hitting my windows and the wind carrying it across the rooftop.  None to my surprise, the rain carried on into the morning.  It wasn't until an hour ago that I noticed the rain stopped, and the sky overhead was blue and clear, and the sun was shining.

It's a reminder of all the cliches of hope: light at the end of the tunnel, sunshine after the storm, and a smile after the tears.  But it's because of those thoughts we have hope sprung out.

new stepping stones

Each choice I make and every step I take is a stepping stone in my life.  Whether it's a choice in my career in the retail world or my writing development, it all falls into my personal definition.  I sometimes have to remind myself not to be so rough and learn from my mistakes, take them in stride, and a laugh. 

I am about to embark on a new journey... in a couple of weeks I'll be highlighted on a live streaming radio show that is dedicated to new artists: painters, singers, bands, writers, and newly published authors.  I submitted an email application and I received a response a few weeks ago that they would like to promote me on the radio.  I get a full hour to talk about my current project called "Charlotte Jane's Growing Pains"  It's not finished yet, but it's a work in progress.  I put my first children's book to the side for a little while and I decided to write for a new audience--the developing teens.  The third chapter is almost complete :-)

eighteen years and counting

I was too little to sign the cards for myself every time my grandma had a birthday, or for Christmas, or Mother's Day... until I was seven.  I asked if I could sign my grandma's card that year and Mommy said I could sign my name myself.  I was so excited!  But then Grandma went into the hospital and she fell asleep--hooked to a machine that counted her heart beats.  Mommy wasn't home for Mother's Day because she was in the hospital with Grandma.  Two days later Grandma decided she didn't want to wake up and her heart stopped.

It has been 18 years and I still can't stop my eyes from filling when I think about Grandma.  Although, three years later Grandpa joined her, and it was a relief to know that they were together again because they were each so alone.  Grandpa was alone, although I spent so much time with him after Grandma fell asleep.  But I am very sure they are together and happy.

dressing well in church and hypocritic behaviors

I wasn't raised in a family that went to church or took part in any real religious activities.  But one thing I noticed through my more recent years past is that people have stopped dressing up for church on Sundays.  What has happened and what has changed in people that has led them to take away from the traditions that were set forth so many years ago?  In retrospect, I never wore jeans to church, but I remember seeing others do this.

The other thing I noticed is that people, in general, attend church on Sundays, but then the second they step out of those tall wooden doors the opinionated, judgmental, narrow minded, self righteous, self absorbed mind-set fills the same walls of their heads as the will to sing praise to their Lord with a promise to live and walk the path He has set forth.

Faith and belief begin with ourselves.  If people are executing hypocrisy so well, then they are cheating no one but themselves. 

if we had buttons to control and change our lives

Have you ever wanted to delete or hit the backspace key in life?  Or hit the "easy button" like in that commercial.  If only it were that simple. 

 If only the dishes washed themselves, the dog could walk himself, the cat could clean his own litter--or better yet, use the toilet and flush!

Just call me a dreamer of the most unrealistic.

Support comes in the most unusual and unexpected packages

Little did I know what I was getting into simply by answering the phone at work.  "My thesis is overdue and I can't fix the formatting, and I need help... oh, my name is Sharon, and I'll be there in 10 minutes."  All I say is, it'll be okay Sharon, just email it to the store and everything will be okay.  Forty-three pages and forty minutes of a thesis later, and everything was fixed... formatting--spacing, margins, tabs, spelling, bolding, underlining, everything that I could do... and then... "thank you, you don't know what you just did for me".

But I knew... I knew what I did because I know how important these ideas, thoughts, and work is to a writer.  It's my job to be there for my customers, but it's my passion to be there for fellow writers.

The tip of the iceberg though was bumping into her again yesterday.  She looked at me and said "I got my thesis in, and they loved it.  And I get to graduate now!"  It's instances like that, that make me feel that I'm going in the right direction.

She told me that I'm wasted working in retail, but I told her that I don't feel that way.  I am surrounding myself with people and I still have my time to write and create.  I get the best of both worlds!  Everything in life is a progression.  Slowly moving into retail management, and slowly writing my fiction.  It's exciting and fulfilling and amazing and anticipating the day that I can yell "I'm finished!".